Feb 22, 2004

Online to Reality?

Ok so after posting I realized that there has to be some updates about me and I would rather look at the relationship side. I am one of those people that once upon a time I hated hanging out by myself. I always love hanging out in groups and doing things with others. In college for the most part, I had my bf at that time and our friends which guaranteed that I would always have someone around and if not then I would have uncomfortable weekends where I had nothing to do and no motivation. This changed with the hectic life of my final semesters where people graduated, I was single and had a huge class load. I found the simple joys in taking a walk browsing in stores and more.

Moving to the east coast was an interesting change. Over a period of months I found a groove and was happy to do this as a single girl and to learn what I wanted on my own and of course it hit me one day that I was ready to find Mr Right. In a city this large how hard could it be?

Little did I know that there should be a Guy Guide for finding a match in this city! It is so hard to meet people unless you have some friends or go through work and I found that this made me keep meeting the same types of people. This was really becoming frustrating. Typically I am the type that goes from one relationship to the next so I never have the benefit of a breather to see what it is that I truly want. Now that I was ready I kept finding people that I knew would not be of interest to me in the longterm.

Finally I decided that if you want something new you have to do something innovative. Debating the issue of using the Internet was a tough one. One would think that a 24 year old girl should not have a problem with this we are the Techie generation; however, I could not get the idea in my head that this was the path I was prepared to take until I realized that you find people at bars and people actually expect that to work so how could the Internet be that bad. So I turned to one of my favorite sites - Craigslist and sent out a request for good conversation at a coffeeshop - long story short I met a great guy! It didn't take long and we started dating.

The funny thing is as recently as yesterday my bf and I were on our way to a party. In the subway we bumped into one of his colleagues and we started talking - speaking of random this is another way that I'm sure people have met. Anyway, she asked the inevitable question "How'd you meet?" As he blushed I said on the Internet through Craigslist! Seeing that I was one of the biggest oponents to online dating, I can admit when I'm wrong and find it my personal mission to showcase my success story (I'd like to think). She was very intrigued and talked about on of her friends who had done the same thing and the way she explained it was analagous to someone describing the concept of TV to a room of people that had enjoyed their favorite soap operas on radio. It seemed so foreign. With all the sites online with matchmaking, hookups and more this is definately something of a mainstay.

How funny that people shy away from the idea.
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Kimmie
Founder Sikara Magazine & Sikara Designs
http://www.sikara.com

"Us vs Them": Which End Are You On?

There are moments when you wish you could step outside of your body and see what's going on around you. Maybe it's that time you and your friends were out celebrating someone getting a new job or getting their first place. Alone, these are monumental successes that deserve to be looked at - but what happens when you accept these challenges and realize that in choosing them, you have stepped to a more evolved you? Over the past few days I have seen this and realized that within a few hours I was no longer an "us" I was a "them"

The "us vs them" is something that happens all the time but no one thinks about it. I was introduced to this interesting balance in highschool during the Bacalaureate speeches before graduation. Our keynote speaker Kevin Kwanza (I hope I remembered that name right) explained in a very funny way that being an us meant those that had mastered highschool but by graduating we were leaving one version of "us" and became a "them". We were now the people that those behind us would dream of being while at the same time basking in their youth. I thought it was funny but who cared? I was going to college and there I left one group and became a newer "us". That was a great 4 years and after graduating there seems to be no smooth transition from leaving academia and moving into the "real world".

I have been in the real world since Dec 2002 and in that time I have made a lot of strides - I made my own company and also freelance at the same time. Off and on my mom would talk about how life doesn't work like it did in college. Many times she talked about how I still dressed like I was there and then some. I didn't seem to care until this week.

Lately, I have had to go to interviews and meet potential clients and after hearing my mother nag me I thought we would go shopping for these adult like clothes. I was a little nervous, I do want to dress for my business but I want to do it in a manner that I am still being represented. I loved the clothes can I just say that I am a fan of Rampage and XOXO and the clothes are not only hip but can work well in a work environment. As I passed my previous shopping havens, I felt like a mini traitor. I still liked the clothes but I suppose where I am going those items do not work. Later my boyfriend and I went out for a night.

I had been to a bar earlier in the year that we had a great time at. I did not realize that it was a college bar. Although people assume I am still in college, I was astounded that not only did I not have a great time, but that I was wondering about the maturity level of the people there - and then it hit me. I had become a "them". As much as I like to stay outside of the corporate structures and only work with them on a project basis, my styles and tastes have changed. I have started to assimilate into another group. I was the one out of place and after my first drink - we left.

In a blink of an eye it seems that collegiate Kimmie has truly embraced the entrepreneurial group and although I have set my own pace and style it is definately dictated by a more adult corporate structure. This when you step outside of yourself and realize how much you have changed and nothing is so stark then talking with friends from college that you do not see all the time. They struggle to understand who this person is and you realize how much you have evolved into something else. A transition - that's what college is supposed to be between highschool and your life afterwards. Instead it seems that you continue to transition for another period of years. I feel that I am still finishing with it as I look for an apartment and more.
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Kimmie
Founder Sikara Magazine & Sikara Designs
http://www.sikara.com